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Answer the question: Why?
There are many reasons to visit Korea so be clear on the reason
why you want to go. If you try to do too much you will only be left
overwhelmed and disappointed. Remember that Korea is not going anywhere
and you do not have to do everything in your first trip. Take baby
steps and let things unfold. For your first visit focus on learning
about the culture and seeing the sights. On your next visit think
about extending your stay by possibly studying or teaching. Take
a separate trip to meet or search for your birth family and only
after you thoroughly thought about your motive for wanting to meet
them.
Go in a Group
For your first visit, try to go in a group. A group helps when you
are not proficient with the language and can be a welcome buffer
from the culture shock. There is nothing like being able to retreat
with friends after a wear day with the natives. Ideally find a group
with people around your age and who share similar life experiences,
i.e. other adoptees. Just because you are in a group do no be afraid
to venture on your own. Look for a tour that will give you some
free time.
Choose your Tour Wisely
When deciding to embark on a trip sponsored or run by an organization,
do as much research as possible. Ask to speak to former participants
about their experiences. Remember the saying "if it's too good
to be true?" Be aware that some organizations, especially those
that offer "free" trips for adoptees, may have hidden
agendas. Find out if there will be a lot of media exposure, how
adoptees will be portrayed and the purpose of the trip.
Check Your Expectations at Home
Go with an open mind. You do not know Korea no matter how many times
you have watched reruns of M*A*S*H. Probably over the years you
have collected a nice collage of images and fantasies of what Korea
and real Koreans are like. Check them with your baggage and go with
a clean slate and open heart. Let your eyes, ears, nose and hands
tell you what Korea is like and not someone else's interpretations.
Be Prepared for Culture Shock
On your first visit be prepared. Being in a foreign country, especially
if you have never associated with many Asians or Koreans before,
can be overwhelming. You will be surrounded by people who look so
similar to you. Although the thought of melting into a sea of black
hair and almond eyes may be exciting, it can sometimes be intimidating!
Be prepared for large crowds wherever you go.
Learn Cultural Differences
Take a little time to educate yourself about Korean history, cultural
do's and don'ts and customs before you leave. Be aware that customs
that are acceptable in the United States may not be acceptable in
Korea and vice-versa. It is not hard to learn simple habits of Korean
culture, like taking your shoes off when entering a house or temple,
understanding that it is acceptable for girls to hold each others'
hands or for guys to have their arms around each other. Do not be
annoyed by the way native Koreans do things. If you expect things
to be done the way they are done in the United States, save your
money and go to Disney World.
Learn a Few Key Phrases
No one expects you to be a linguist, but with a little effort it
does not take long to learn a few essential Korean words like bathroom
(hwa-jang-shil), hello (Ahn-young-ha-sae-yo), good-bye (Ahn-young-ka-sae-yo
or Ahn-young-kae-sae-yo), thank you (Kam-sam-ham-ni-da), you're
welcome (Chon-mon-ju-sae-yo), I'm sorry (Mi-ahn-ae-yo), excuse me
(Sheel-ham-ni-da), yes (nae) and no (ani-yo)
You are the Foreigner
Although it may feel like you are incognito, blending with Korean
faces around you, be prepared to receive stares and questions. Korean
nationals can identify Korean-Americans by the way they dress, walk,
talk (or not), and interact with elders. If you do not speak Korean,
some Korean nationals may be angered or ask why you do not speak
Korean. Do not be embarrassed because you cannot speak their language.
Being Adopted in Korea
Probing questions of a Korean national may lead you to share that
you are adopted. Understand that social differences include attitudes
towards adoption. Younger Korean nationals may be more understanding
and curious about your adoption, but adults may express that they
are ashamed or sorry you are adopted. Remember that you have nothing
to be ashamed or sorry about. You have your life and they have theirs.
You can choose to tell them all, or politely decline and walk away.
Representing Adoptees
You never thought of yourself as a spokesperson for anything, but
in Korea you will be representing the Korean adoptee community,
like it or not. Maybe you never met another adoptee before in your
entire life, but that will not matter to a Korean national who has
never met one before either. Be aware that your actions and behavior
will leave a lasting impression and influence the way future adoptees
traveling to Korea will be perceived.
Have a Good Translator
If you are not in a group, and have no language skills, it is important
you get a good translator. In the big cities like Seoul you should
be able to find a few English-comprehending students to help you
out. If you plan on meeting or searching for your birth family,
it is extremely important to have a translator you trust. You will
want your birth family to fully understand what you are saying without
any edits or commentaries from a translator. Bring a tape recorder
and record your meeting. You can listen to the tape after you become
more proficient with the language, or have a trusted friend interpret
for you after you return.
Enjoy the Trip
Do not be intimidated by your surroundings; you are ready for this.
Do not worry about things that are out of your control. Allow life
to take you on an adventure. Pack a journal to write in during your
travels and lots of film. You will want to record every last detail
of this trip. Although you may travel to Korea numerous times, there
is only one first trip. Do not be in a rush. Take things slow and
absorb all that is around you and worry about digesting the trip
when you get home. Try new things and be open to to understanding
the land of your birth.
Decompress After Your Visit
The party is over and it's time to come home. Your trip to Korea
may open new doors for you and insights about who you are or who
you want to be. Do no rush into things impulsively. You will need
some time to integrate your experience with your life in America.
Be patient with yourself. Life is about balance. You do not need
to find answers right away or understand the significance of this
trip in your life immediately. Talk and write about your experience.
Put your pictures in a nice photo album. Reread your journal and
enjoy the fact that you have learned a little more about yourself. |
