Discovering her Latin Identity
by Laura Blum aka Castellano Hernandez
Originally published in TransCultured Magazine Fall 1999

A Colombian adoptee shares her metamorphosis that brought her to embrace her Latino roots.

Names imply sex, cultural and often religious connotations. Take my name for instance - Laura Blum. You might think of a white, Jewish, Female. On the contrary, I am neither white, nor Jewish. In reality, I am an adoptee from Bogota, Colombia. I was adopted at the age of six weeks with my twin sister Joanna. We were raised Catholic by our very white Catholic mother, and given our last name by our very white Jewish father. Not only were we raised Catholic, however, we were raised "white." I mean, we were truly given the privileges that white dominance allows in this country. And my sister and I admit that we felt "white."

Honestly, growing up I did not think or second guess that people saw me as "white," because my name and my environment implied it. It is what we identified with. It was not until I got older that I realized more and more people asked where I was from, and that in college everyone was from a different country. It was cool and expected to be from somewhere else. I had to step back and reevaluate myself. I began to study Spanish. I began to learn about what it meant to be Latina. I joined my college's Latino students' group and became the secretary. I began to regain my heritage and my roots.

It was therefore, not a surprise to my family and friends that when I had the opportunity to study my junior year abroad I decided to go back to Bogota, Colombia. It was then that I began to realize that I belonged to this other culture and society by virtue of my appearance and blood. It was truly the first time in my life when I felt like I looked like everyone else around me, and I could no longer identify as white. I could not deny my roots. Basically, I no longer wanted to.

I also decided to search for my birthfmaily. Without going into the long dream story of how it happened, I found them - all 200 family members! Seriously, I found my mother, six brothers and sisters, and my father and his wife and two sons. All of a sudden I had eight half-brothers and sisters, and I could not deny we too looked alike.

My journey to my birth land - my motherland - changed my life forever. I now identify as Colombian and am proud of it. I know what it is now. I have been there, I have eaten the food, listened to the music, seen the country. I have, for me, in so many ways, come home. I truly believe that something inside of me was calling me there.

Today, back in the United States I try to be around other Latinos and Colombians. However, there is still no denying that there are differences between us. Maybe no color wise, but culturally. It is a funny feeling; however, it is one I welcome into my life. I feel as though Laura Blum is truly also-known-as the Laura Castellano Hernandez she was born to be.

Laura Jeannine Blum is a 24 year old Colombian adoptee who graduated from Bryn Mawr with a degree in Psychology and Womens and Gender Studies. She has worked in the social work field and hopes to become a therapist. She reunited with her birth family in the spring of 1997 in Colombia and hopes to take a trip back to Colombia soon.